Dude, try to make decks with 40 cards. Make yourself limit it to forty cards. That how I got better at making decks.
With that in mind you'll know what you need, and what you don't.
opinion 1: you have TOO MANY TRAPS. I've made decks with one trap or no traps and I still win. try a maximum of 6-7 traps if you won't make a burn deck.
opinion2: Too many monsters. You don't need all of those. Read their effects, and you'll no why.
opinion 3: Stick to the ban list dude. That will help you limit your deck.
Thats all I have to say. You need to make this deck on your own. Its still pretty messed up.